Best breakfast you’ve never heard of…

…and probably wouldn’t think of trying unless you had me next to you going “eat it, seriously!”

Consider this post as the cyber equivalent of my being there in person to coerce you.

It sounds kinda gross at first, until you try it. Then you’ll never look back:

– Fry an egg or two.

– Put on some wholemeal toast.

– Cut a few slices of medium cheddar

– Toast has popped up. Are you ready for the next bit? Spread some strawberry or blueberry jam on it (I’m dead serious). St Dalfour make the best ones, and they are entirely sugar-free.

– Put a slice or two of cheese on top of the jam

– Put your egg on top of the cheese, this should make it nice and melty

– If you fancy it (and you totally do), put some rosemary on top.

– Eat.

If you try it and don’t like it, I’d like to hear about it!

Some vegan cake recipes (yes, you heard me correctly)

(The chocolate cake and the apple cake are the only ones I’ve tried, but they’re absolutely delicious. If you need a quantity converter, try here.)

Vegan Apple Cake

1 1/2 cups wholewheat flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
lots of cinnamon and a little nutmeg
1 cup cold water
2 tbsp white (or apple cider) vinegar
1 tbsp vanilla essence
4 tbsp vegetable or olive oil
3-4 apples cut into chunks
optional: raisins, nuts or flax seeds

Mix dry ingredients together. With a spoon, create 3 holes in the mixture into which you will pour the oil, water and vinegar seperately. Stir the wet and dry components – not too much. Add apples and stir.
Bake in a greased (with vegan butter obv!) cake pan for 40 mins at 350F.

Vegan Banana Bread

2 1/2 cups flour
2 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 very ripe bananas cut into chunks
1/2 cup soy milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
optional: nuts and/or vegan chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375F. Oil 9 x 5 inch baking pân. Sift flour, baking powder, salt. Seperately, combine bananas, soy milk, oil, sugar and vanilla and mash (or blend) until smooth. Add flour mix and fold in nuts/chocolate chips if desired.
Transfer to pan and spread evenly. Bake for about 1 hour or until toothpick comes out clean.

Vegan Lemon Cake

Dry ingredients:
1 1/2 cup wholewheat flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
pinch of cinnamon

Wet ingredients:
4 tbsp oil
1 tbsp white or cider vinegar (not balsamic!)
1 cup water or soy milk
zest of 2 lemons
juice of 2 lemons followed by water as needed

Mix dry ingredients and wet ingredients seperately. Make 3 holes in the dry material and pour in wet ingredients. Combine ingredients and add water as necessary to reach a reasonable batter consistency.
Bake in an oiled pan at 375F for 40+ mins or until toothpick or fork comes out clean

Best-fucking-chocolate-cake-in-the-world-and-it-just-happens-to-be-vegan!

340g wholewheat flour
230g sugar
8 tsp cocoa
180ml vegetable oil
400ml water
3tsp baking powder (not soda, for the love of god!)
4tsp cider vinegar

Mix all ingredients together to give a smooth batter. Pour the mixture into an 18cm greased cake tin and cook in a moderate oven, about 200C (google how to convert it into farenheit) until cake begins to brown (about 20 mins).
Leave to cool in tin and ice as follows

Vegan Chocolate Icing

2 tbsp cocoa
8 tbsp icing sugar
50g vegan margarine

Mix ingredients together with enough water to give a smooth soft spread. When the cake has cooled, spread icing over.

Christmas-tastic nut roast…

I made an EPIC nut roast this Christmas, and figured I’d share the recipe with y’all. You’re welcome.

Ingredients:

400g tofu, cut into small squares

1 large onion, finely chopped

3 (or more) cloves of garlic, crushed

½ a red chilli, finely chopped (medium heat)

28g butter

3 vegetable stock cubes

100ml boiling water

100g mushrooms (whatever variety you like), finely chopped

250g cashews, ground (you can either buy them ground or whizz them round in a blender)

100g chestnuts, halved or crushed

3 eggs, lightly beaten

A few leaves of fresh basil (or 3tsp dried)

Seasoning – salt ‘n’ peppa

Directions:

Prep the nuts and veg before you do anything else, just the way it says in the ingredients list.

Next add your stock cubes to the boiling water and pour into a pan. Put the onion, garlic and chilli in the pan with the stock and simmer for 10 minutes. When it’s done there should be just enough water to cover most of the onions, top up with more if necessary.

In a large bowl, combine the tofu, butter, mushrooms, cashews, chestnuts, eggs, basil and seasoning (ie. everything else).

Once the stock, onions etc. is ready, stir it into the bowl with the other ingredients. Make sure all ingredients are evenly distributed.

Next, grease a loaf tin with butter and spoon the mixture into it. Cook for 40 minutes at 180°C/350°F/gas mark 5. When you stick a skewer in it should come out clean, otherwise just pop it in for another 10 minutes.

It’s super-duper easy to make (I can’t cook for peanuts, so if I can do it anyone can) and absolutely delicious, so give it a go!