It starts with my tiny heart.
It starts with my tiny, shrivelled, proud, indifferent heart.
It starts when I realise that my heart is tiny, and shrivelled, and proud, and indifferent,
When I realise that the brokenness and decay I see all around me (when I even pay enough attention to notice) is true of my own self – the self that I had always thought so highly of.
And so I cry out to God not to give up on me, and he doesn’t.
He takes my tiny, shrivelled, proud, indifferent heart out and replaces it with his own – a heart of abundance and love and infinite resources.
And when I live into the reality of my heart transplant, he begins bit by bit to unfold his vision of renewal before my very eyes.
My old heart, ridden with disease, is now a new one full of dis-ease:
dis-ease at all the suffering in the world
dis-ease at my numbness to the suffering in the world
dis-ease at the way I currently spend my money
dis-ease at how easily I close my ears to the cries of the distressed
dis-ease at my spiritual poverty
dis-ease at settling for second-best in how I relate to others, in how I date, in how I treat those around me, in how I think about the earth and everything in it.
This glorious discomfort nourishes me with hunger and thirst for more of whatever powerful, mystical, real thing is happening inside me…
And then groups of people who’ve had their tiny, shrivelled, proud, indifferent hearts replaced by that of God start finding each other; we start dreaming new dreams, and fuelling each others’ hunger, and helping others into this new reality, and working together to live into the fullness of God’s kingdom and to bring heaven to earth.
Despite the fact that we are broken and flawed and we make a mess of things, we are invited to be the hands and feet of God – the lifeforce he unleashes on a hurting world – because we are operating out of his wealth and not our poverty.
I have had my heart transplant – and I’ve only barely glimpsed this new reality; I live in hope of its continued revelation.